How do you braid your personal and political?

NoKingsDay rally in downtown Miami

Greetings from the academic summer, the months from May through August in which we have a lot of flexibility, can “do what we want” (typically a mix of research, travel and relaxation) and are not on contract and or being paid. I consider this long self-determined time a luxury. It allows me to return refreshed and eager to start a new school year each fall.

I am writing out of my summer rhythm, reflecting on the personal and the political and how we make the two hang together. Also, I will talk about the personal and the political AND the public and the private, pretty much interchangeably, even if they don’t mean the exact same thing.

As you know, “the personal is political” is a core feminist mantra. I understand it to mean that many things happening in private deserve public attention because they are relevant for society. Private concerns are often tucked away, not talked about much, not given the weight of being socially important. The private is still much more a female than a male space, and the diminution of the many things women do there stands in stark contrast to the predominantly male public. Feminists have worked hard to pull private concerns into the political limelight, to some remarkable (but still insufficient) success. For example, it is due to feminist scholarship and politics that we now recognize the immense collective value of unpaid reproductive labor (according to a 2024 estimate, about $ 1trillion per year in the US, two thirds of which are performed by women, and predominantly women of color). Similarly, we now understand domestic and intimate partner violence as a structural form of violence that needs to be publicly fought, not as a private matter that is “nobody’s business”.  

Braiding the public and the private

How does your public/political and private/personal life hang together? I have noticed that I cherish privacy in the sense of protecting parts of my life from public scrutiny. I want to be in control of activities that bring me joy, individually and in close relationships, that include care work and give me the energy I need for my public and professional life. There seems to be a good reason for a separation of public and private, even if I don’t think of it in rigid terms, but more along the lines of harmonious interaction, a bit of yin-yang, a braid – whatever image works for you. As a matter of fact, writing this blog constantly braids public and private, personal and political as I connect broader themes with my own take, and I write this in a digital public space which is mostly accessed by people I know.   

This mutual constitution is my normal public-private. Luckily, I have a healthy family life – not everybody feels safe in private. However, in recent months, this balance has become a bit out of whack due to two things: In my public/ professional life, I spent much more time than usual on political action, protesting policies that undermine higher education and the democratic foundations of this country. In my personal life, something has come up that is concerning. As it is private, I will not say what it is, but rather that I think much about it, am worried, and need to dedicate significant amounts of time to it.

I realize that I am not alone in this out-of-whack situation, but it is new to me. It preoccupies my thinking, I wonder how other people handle it. So, if you have thoughts to share, I would be really interested. For now, let me continue with my story.   

As I mentioned, there has been a lot of political work I have been involved in. I feel that in several instances, I threw myself into this work with more enthusiasm than I would usually have because I could fully concentrate on something purposeful and did not have to think about “it”, at least for a while.  

Two political issues have kept me busy since the last blog: first, the process of Jeanette Nuñez becoming FIU’s next president. I wrote about the surprise of her appointment as interim president in my last blog. Much less surprisingly, she has recently been confirmed by the university’s  Board of Trustees as the next permanent president. Technically, this decision could still be overruled by the Florida Board of Governors or the governor himself, but that is unlikely. Nonetheless, it just happened to Santa Ono who was supposed to be the next president of the University of Florida. He was rejected by the BoG for being too “woke”, or perhaps simply for being an academic.

In the very foreseeable search process at FIU, Nuñez became the only candidate after two others had withdrawn their candidacy. The external firm hired to conduct the search proceeded undeterred (=as if it was an actual search). In late May, Nuñez invited the campus and wider community to attend several “listening sessions” to display her leadership skills. Remember, the summer is the time when faculty are largely absent from campus, doing their own thing. I still went to the faculty listening session but did not hear much in terms of a vision, except for making it “to the top 30”. A reporter from our student newspaper asked a colleague and me a few questions afterwards. Here is what she wrote, with our comments in there.  

Many people did not show up for these sessions because being off contract/ out of town etc., but also because Nuñez’ hire was a foregone conclusion. Presidents of public universities in Florida are now political appointees. This is reported as a fact. This radio show, the Florida roundup, discussed the matter and unfortunately had nothing critical to say about the situation. While I have often seen more critical coverage, this one was very disappointing. At least they did read out some comments from listeners, including mine (at 11:53 min of the show). Gist: our perfectly capable president was replaced for political reasons. We must keep saying it because it will never be ok.  

The second issue we mobilized around was the voluntary agreement of FIU police to collaborate with ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) on campus. Concretely, this means that ICE will now access universities – in addition to schools, workplaces, places of worship, you name it –, supposedly to detain undocumented immigrants, but really to detain anybody they want. A university is a place where everybody should feel safe. Undocumented people are, with very few exceptions, not criminals. But this is now all mixed up in public discourse – they are unlawfully in the country, that makes them criminals, and the rest of the people need to be protected. Only there is no need for protecting anybody from undocumented students. Rather, THEY should be protected from ICE to have a safe place to learn, advance, and make their unique contribution to this country.

Our campus police wants to collaborate with ICE. At a well-attended townhall meeting, the chief of FIU police argued that he and his force “know the community” and therefore could influence the process of detention and make it more humane. However, he does not know how much of a say he will have in the matter. He also had nothing to say in response to the argument that such agreements had been tried before and were abandoned, because not only did they not make things smoother, but they also caused harm. Finally, he stated that this was indeed a voluntary, and not a coerced agreement, but miraculously, about 90% of these agreements have been signed in no other state but Florida. No pressure whatsoever.    

Students, staff members, parents who had planned to see their children graduate – a good number of them are now afraid to set foot on campus. And we have kept showing up to our Board of Trustees meetings to let them know that we do not want ICE on campus. They will not get rid of us so easily.

NoKingsDay rally downtown Miami

Attacks on academic freedom are connected to broader issues of democracy. This is why I went to the NoKingsDay protest in Miami this weekend, which was a very encouraging event, with thousands of people there, chanting, dressed up, with fun and creative signs (see some visuals throughout this blog). Of course, the question is how to channel this energy into a real and lasting defense for democracy.

When I was driving back home, the question of this blog – how the public and the private hang together – came to my mind. I love political work, it comes with a degree of community – shout out to my union chapter, the United Faculty of Florida at FIU – and a sense of accomplishment. But I have also sometimes withdrawn from it for lack of energy, or because my private issue took up all my time and brain space. For me, private concerns dwarf collective ones – I feel them closer and with more pain. So, when I was done with my feel-good public work (feel-good in the sense that we showed up together), the shadow returned. And work needed to be done to reconstitute my mental balance. Sometimes the private and public also feel like a see-saw – they take turns, need each other, and feed off each other.

Right now, my private concern does not belong in public. It is shared with a small circle of trusted friends. Keeping it tucked away is not always useful, but when pondering how I feel about everything, the “privacy option” prevails, simply because it gives me control. Thankfully, my small network gives me nourishing support. Love you all.  

There is no conclusion here – the process is ongoing. I hope this was not too strange a blog for you, part bragging about political work, part writing about an issue but not revealing it. I can only say: on my end, this is as much as I can comfortably offer. I would love to hear from you about your own personal-political, public-private convolutions. Either in public (here in the comment option) or in private (via email, see “about me”, on the phone, in person …). As you prefer.     

What keeps you going? My network of brilliant female friends

Artwork by Fehmi Baumbach

I wrote the first version of this blog in mid-September, starting out complaining that I have too many things to do and don’t find time to write. I was in “overload mode” because of all kinds of reviews and letters of recommendation I needed to send off. Such things can suck it out of you, so I wanted to write about the most important thing that helps me go through exhausting times (but then I had more things to do and left the blog unfinished …). 

So, second try. To be clear, the point of exhaustion is never only personal. You might think that academia is a cozy place, but there is a structure of escalating demands of all kinds. Here in Florida, we can now be fired post-tenure if we do not keep up with all of this. The most nerve-racking task is to comply with countless political directives issued by the legislature or governor (too many to go in detail here, but the point is to keep us busy and away from cooking up leftist conspiracies). On top of this, world politics. I am deeply, deeply concerned about the people in Palestine, specifically Gaza, the Israeli hostages, now the people in Lebanon, the people in Ukraine, Sudan, and Myanmar. Finally, I am writing this as the university is closed because of hurricane Milton (which luckily, did not hit us). We were also not affected by hurricane Helene less than two weeks ago, but so many in northern Florida, Georgia, and the Carolinas lost everything. I just wish that we, as the intelligent human species that we are, could work harder to create a lifestyle that does not exacerbate these natural disasters. And don’t let me get started on the November elections (which could become another kind of hurricane, as a friend aptly commented).   

To get back on track: when things are tough, what keeps you going? I recognize I am blessed with a life free from big catastrophes, and many things play into that, like economic stability. But what has really kept me going, all along, are the women in my life, the gifts they have given me, the networks of support they have created. Yes, there have been important men as well, but today, I turn the spotlight on the collective avalanche of energy, joy, support, and love that I have received, throughout my life, from many fabulous women. Here go my highlights. Keep reading, you might recognize yourself.        

The first ones

My sister and my mother

There are the women who have been with me from the beginning. My mom is the first, and I sung her praise already in a different post. My sister is the second: you are my anchor, and you make me feel at home anywhere. I get so much from your warmth and the creative, joyful life you live in company with others and in support of a better world.   

Next are my early friends and family. I am grateful for those who have stayed with me for a long time, through ups and downs, intensities, phases of drifting apart, and rapprochements. A, with you I first discussed “real problems”. While mostly living apart, we have shared and compared big and small life events. Your (our) dry humor has often been a lifesaver, especially when things were not so rosy. B, you have always been a source of cosmic life-energy to me, an energy that I myself do not always feel connected to. Thank you for your immense powers of love and healing. C, I sometimes wonder if you benefit as much from our deep bond as I do. Your contribution to balancing me in my transnational life is immense. I hope I can be there for your when you need me. D, I cherish our annual walks through the woods, your connection to the non-human world, your joy for things right in front of you, and your courageous dealing with vulnerabilities. I take a deep sense of peace and gratitude out of our encounters. E, with your charm, energy, and spontaneity you walked into our family, shook it up, and remained part of it. Those bonds make us feel at ease when we meet after long times of separate ways, and they bring me immense joy. F, speaking of family: your hospitality, optimism and pragmatism give me a feeling of strength and confidence that I take home with me after visits and that helps me to confront my daily life challenges in good faith. G, you embody our wider family for me. I see you conscientiously and lovingly carrying on our ancestors’ work of bringing us together. Thank you for that.  

Sharing college and discovering the world

I moved on from home and was lucky to weave important emotional connections during my student years in three German and one Basque cities. H, our friendship was intense first and then got loose over time and distance. We managed to find together again, in joyful encounters on both sides of the Atlantic, due to your great hospitality and sense of friendship. I, your passionate sense of justice, contagious energy, and strength in difficult times will always light my fire. Our first encounter was in faraway lands. Since then, we have met to talk, laugh, cry, dance, argue, and be together in silence. J, I don’t see you often but feel the connection. I met you far away from home, in a different country and language, and you will always shine for me as a woman who, just like that, gifted me with unconditional friendship.      

Being politically active was a formative part of my student life, and some of my lasting friendships originate in this activism. I met you, K, while we were figuring out who we wanted to be, and we did lots of organizing together. Decades later, phone conversations with you continue to enlighten me as we deal with the political and personal questions of the day. L, we also met doing political work, bonded over having our hearts broken in similar ways, and just enjoyed each other’s company. Your presence in my life is a ray of golden sun! Keep up your openness towards the world. M, so many joyful collaborations. You are smart, brave, and have a big heart. To me, you were a role model, and I might not have chosen the academic path without you. Thank you for making me understand that a university career must have communal benefits.

In times of loneliness, there were angels who picked me up. Living together with you, N, was profoundly comforting. You asked me about the death of my father and really wanted to hear the story. From the start, you have offered me trust, honesty, and hospitality. With you, I feel young, grounded, and in sisterhood. O, you took me by your hand in a new place and shared your friends and favorite pass times with me. I will always be in awe about your fearless embrace of the world and your no-apologies approach to realizing your dreams. P, my former neighbor and sparkling friend! Your creativity, musicality, and gumption have inspired me, and I have learned from you – with you – to be uncompromising about the good things in life.  

The transatlantic leap

Then came my transatlantic leap as a young professional and a single mom. It was hard, to a breaking point, and it might not have worked. Q, the way you were there for us in any possible way when we came to your (adopted) part of the world is something I had never experienced and will never forget. Also, you are scarily bright – I get the world out of our conversations. R, we share the joy of seeing our kids grow up together and I am happy we keep in touch across distance. Conversations over dinner, swimming in the lake, garden parties – you are the queen of networking. I am grateful to be part of that fabric of friends. S, my kindred soul away from home! Your passionate love for live is contagious. I have loved to discuss, laugh and hike with you, read your work, and see your unique contribution to this world. Stay edgy and keep questioning the annoyingly conventional. T, when we moved again, you were there for us as a friend to share good experiences, especially cultural events, and to laugh away the things that made life frustrating. Your love for community, beauty, and life in all forms is a constant inspiration. 

My brilliant role models, mentors, and professional friends

On my professional path of growth, there were so many brilliant women. Some have showed me the way, others have walked with me. U, you were my first intergenerational friend. Your gift of listening to younger people with engaging curiosity has made me feel seen. Your interest in everything, especially travel and other life adventures has granted us countless hours of cherished conversations. V, I met you as a fun, energetic, no-nonsense co-worker. I am so glad we keep in touch, and I am particularly inspired by the way you organize your life in retirement – I will emulate the many travel and other projects with friends and acquaintances. W, without your guidance, would I have made it in academia? You gave me the self-confidence I needed. Your thirst for knowledge creation has inspired many, and I am forever grateful that you combined it with generosity, humor, and a good portion of faith in humanity. X, from you I learned so much of what I find important for being a decent academic. You are a shining star, and at the same time, an avid networker, a nurturer, always interested in what others have to say, and you are also REALLY funny. Y, you are a transnational feminist activist who has changed the world. I am grateful to have learned from you and deeply admire your sharp analysis, boundless generosity, and hope for humanity. You keep inspiring me. As this is the last letter of the alphabet, ZZZ, you are three wonderfully inspirational sister feminists engaged in public intellectual work, activism, and scholarship. How you do it all, I don’t know, but you influence a variety of people in different parts of the world. Your passion, dedication, honesty, and respect for yourself and others is what we need to push this world in the right direction.          

And some new seedlings!

I don’t blame you if you could not get through all of these. But honestly, it is an amazing feeling to realize the many people on which you rely in your life, who keep you going, and I have left out quite a few. Let me also add that out of such nurturing networks, new seedlings are growing. During the summer, I met a former student who is now successfully employed, and she told me in humbling detail how much she benefitted from my mentoring. Finally, when I see my daughter grow into an awe-inspiring young woman, it is hard to believe and immensely gratifying that I played a part in her becoming this person.  

So, to conclude: SEE your supporters. It will make you glow from within!

PS: When I was marveling about what kinds of visuals to use for this blog, I remembered that I asked the artist Fehmi Baumbach to get permission to use one of her pieces for my book cover. I use it here again because to me, it visualizes being connected. Check her out, she is so creative!

PPS: I added several of you as subscribers to this blog, it makes things easier for me. Send me a short message if you want to be taken off again.